20th Day of Self-quarantine

It feels like forever ago that I was going about my daily life. Getting up every Monday-Friday morning at about 6-6:30, throwing on clothes quickly (I shower usually at night), figuring out what I would take to lunch for work. No leftovers? Guess a frozen burrito will do. Then quickly making some coffee in our Keurig coffee maker and grabbing a banana as I went out the door. Then I'd get done with work around 4:00pm and sometimes head to the gym, despite recently getting restless to cycle outdoors. When you live in Minnesota, though, you can't count on getting outside with decent temperatures (I'm talking mid 50s) until late April or even into May. The gym was getting boring, BUT I was around others and it was better than falling completely out of shape. I'd get home around 6:30 and have dinner with the family and then add some contact to my Facebook page or just chill for the remainder of the night.

I had other activities happening, especially more as of late. I was gearing up in early March for my cycling group, having been recently appointed as a new committee member and was going back to Wednesday night support groups through NAMI. I was actually just working with the organization on creating my own personal story of living with a mental illness when the whole COVID-19 fiasco started.

Friday, March 13th (it was a full moon as well) should have been an indicator that things were about to hit the fan. Sure enough they did!

I recall it being my last day of work and I filled up car. Now in hindsight, I don't know why I did, since I haven't driven in almost 3 weeks. This is the longest I haven't driven since I broke my arm in 2017. Since March 13th, I've experienced many highs and lows. As I write this blog, I've been in a better place. This is thanks to some talk with family and having done my first therapy appointment in awhile. They must have sensed some futuristic foresight, as I had been convinced to go see a therapist and had set up an appointment about a month in advance. I'm glad I was able to do so through telemedicine, which is done through video.

So what have been prevailing feelings throughout these first 20 days?

Anger - specifically wanting to blame someone for why this virus has literally paralyzed the world.

Disappointment - my personal beef when I read about or physically see others not practicing our states Stay At Home order. How hard is it, really?

Overwhelmed/anxiety - I haven't been watching or reading as much information in the past few days, as the number of cases and deaths have gone up exponentially. They say it's only going to get worse in the coming weeks!

Stress - Who isn't stressed in times like this? No one as anything to compare it to. I often stress over "dumb" things that I shouldn't in daily life now.

Worry - The unknown. Am I ever going to be able to get back to some sense of normalcy? What will the new "normal" be? I guess we all will find out.

In the mean time I'm doing all I can do to keep busy and look forward to the future in these uncertain times.

- Listen to music

- Spend time with our dogs

- Take care of projects around the house (you can check off the pantry organized)

- Meditation

- Getting exercise daily, which I have been lazy about at times.

- Working on my website/blog as I move forward in becoming a Mental Health Advocate.

- Binge watching tv series. Wow, Tiger King was something else!

Little did I realize I'd be blogging when I was suppose to be going on vacation to Disney World today.

Home, my temporary happiest place on Earth right now!

-Ben