• Ben R

Irreplaceable

Updated: Nov 12, 2020


The following is a post from my personal Facebook account.


Sometimes they're really no words that can fully embody how an individual can affect your life. A little over 9 years ago, I began talking online to my partner. She told me of a very special girl in her life. One that was a little spitfire and only 5 pounds. On our second date (a crazy 3 plus hour walk downtown) I got to meet her.


In the 9 years since, she has shown me what absolute unconditional love is. I get emotional just writing this!


This is just .0001% of the photos we have taken of her.



Yesterday, we had to say goodbye to our 13.5 year old, Fiona. Her resiliency can't be matched. Unfortunately, her body finally was saying, "I'm done!" We had already seriously contemplated putting her down about a half dozen other times this year. Fiona let us know that 2020 was going to be something of a year. One of those "almost" times was on New Year's Day! But she bounced back...and then bounced back again and again.

Up until about 48 hours before we had to do what was best for her, she had bounced back from heart issues and what we think was a stroke or seizure from a week prior.

That little girl had a personality like no other. She was very reminiscent of "old Fiona"; wanting to play and collect all her toys into a hoarding pile, ramming said toys into our ankles when she wanted to play, as she somewhat waddle on her messed up back legs that were shot, as was much of her internal organs. Her impatient wanting to get the day started, but barking at the bedroom door as my partner or I were slowly trying to get our worn out asses going. The impatience as we literally just finished up dinner and her wanting to get picked up.


There are so many adjectives to describe Fiona: bat-shit crazy, impatient, guard dog (she was trained as a medical alert dog), quirky, senile (in her older age), high energy, easy to read facial expressions, loving, unwavering loyalty, bossy, spit fire, OCD obsession with licking everything (but never really got into things).


The memories created with her will last me a lifetime, as it will for my partner and her mom. She has worn many hats (and outfits) in her time, as she has names: Fiona Kay (she's in trouble), Fipis, Flea (partner's dad name for her), Princess Fiona, Honey, Peenie Weenie Head, Lazerus dog (for her repeated bouncing back), Fipis Creepies, and others I can't think of at the moment.


My heart hurts as I miss you so much already. There are so many reminders in our environment that you touched. Even last night as my partner and I lay in bed (Fiona was ALWAYS in bed), knowing you weren't there was difficult. We did have Hazel in her kennel next to us, but it's obviously not the same.


We know you are no longer in pain, and that's what ultimately counts. You gave us so much and more, and for that we are eternally grateful. We will have time to reminisce and grieve over the coming days, weeks, and months. Meanwhile, we are grateful to still have two other loving dogs, Lola (who's gotten the shaft lately) and Hazel (who we now can at least turn on full attention to getting her healed). (See below for added content)


I love you my sweet girl!


Forever in our hearts!


Love, Ben


Last week, our puppy Hazel broke a leg about an hour or so before we were going to pick her up from puppy camp. See my previous blog post for why she was there. Now we are starting to spend the next 6 weeks, trying to get her leg healed.


It's been a challenge already since we brought her back home from the vet hospital, of course with having to put Fiona down yesterday. She's been very uncomfortable, often not eating much, and may have another UTI.


Ugh...I hate 2020!


We will get through this, we will.


- Ben



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