• Ben R

Nothing Really Comes Easy


That's pretty much been the story of my life.


While I know in my heart that I've grown leaps and bounds in the past few years, and especially in the past year plus, things just never are easy for me.


Despite knowing good things lie ahead for me (new job in a month, potential collaboration with local organization on storytelling, in the groove of cycling season), I struggle a lot with inadequacy issues.


A lot!


Last week, I finally took the plunge to find a new therapist. Right now, and not surprisingly, many places and therapists are full or close to it. I'm weighing some options at the moment. I haven't had a therapist 1:1 since September of last year. In reality, she was a counselor, and there's a difference. For those that still follow my journey, I did a three week intensive CBT program through Mayo Clinic in December of last year. So yeah, it's been about five months now with just the tools (when I sometimes use them) and sheer-will power. Oh, and medication, which I think is still working.


But it's not enough.


For the last 14 months, a major part of my life has been Covid and mental health. Not exactly the most exciting things to deal with. Hopefully the damn Covid part will lighten up in the coming months and just be a part of "normal life", whatever that may be like.


Since my last blog post, I've helped get our group road bike rides going since early May. I'm learning, just because I'm on a committee, doesn't mean it's a good thing. The nex